


Romanov Legacy, Gen 1

by drunkdeity



Series: The Romanov Legacy, Gen 1 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21807523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkdeity/pseuds/drunkdeity
Summary: Nat meets a new roommate while in LA and things spiral out of hand really quickly.
Relationships: Peter Quill/Natalia Romanova
Series: The Romanov Legacy, Gen 1 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571389





	1. And They Were Roommates

**Author's Note:**

> This is straight up a book version of my current sims save with these characters. I have no excuses and it is first person because honestly this is self inserty as hell and cringe culture is dead.

Here I am first day in Los Angeles, standing on the front door step of some shitty house in the ghetto so far from home. I grab the note from the front door it is scrawled in messy hand writing that takes me squinting for a minute to figure out

'Hey, Natalia! If this is you reading this the key is on the window sill as I am at school. If this not Natalia then the key is still there but there is nothing to steal! Seriously if you do you are stealing from two broke high school students!  
Signed, Peter Quill.'

I reread the note and grab the key softly thinking about what a fucking idiot this guy is. I slam myself against the door with a grunt to open it. I begin feeling for a light switch and after turning it on I could finally see how dingy the house is. Yeah, Peter was right, there is nothing to steal. Other then maybe the dresser in the hallway or the TV that was high tech 30 years ago. I approach the dresser where there are sticky notes for my drawers and his. I unpack my limited clothing into the smallest drawer and set my also tiny suitcase on top to take a look at the rest of the house. First peeking my head into the bathroom. Only a tub that looks like no one has touched it in five years and filthy counters. Looking at the kitchen it isn't much better fridge looks definitely used and stove looking like it can catch fire any day. _I think I will just make salads the entire time I am here... if the fridge can keep vegetables cold_. Then our bedroom, shared space sadly. Two twin sized beds shoved at opposite ends of the room and a cheap video set up in the corner. _I didn't think he would I only mentioned that I wanted to record videos and go from there but he bought me a set up._ I smile a bit to myself and get to work immediately in recording a vlog about my process in getting to America and my life back home in Russia using all of what little confidence I have to make up for the lack of decent lighting. After a few hours of recording I sit down and learn to edit despite the process being foreign to me I make a passable video. There is a bit of hesitation in me before I upload the video, before I can triple sike myself out I click the button to upload and go make myself a fruit salad with what is in the fridge.

It is when I am curled up on the couch absentmindedly watching some fuzzy TV channel is when Peter arrives home. Before doing anything else he sets his bag down at the end of the couch on the floor and sits next to me with the biggest grin. Peter holds out his hand a bit. "Hi I am Peter Quill nice to meet you Natalia."  
I take his hand and reply with a sarcastic tone. "And here I thought you were some stranger. Call me Nat."  
"Alright, Nat. So where are you from?"  
"Ah so of course that is the first question. I am from Russia. Why are you in LA, Peter?"  
He obviously takes a moment to think. "I want to get famous you know? Make music and stuff. How about you?"  
"Well same purpose different route I suppose."

At this moment. After seeing him and talking to him I have one thought and one thought only:  
**_He is beautiful, I would kill for him._**

  
Everything goes to a bit of an awkward silence for the a few hours. However when the sun sets the door bell rings and Peter leaps up. Despite trying not to I eavesdrop on the conversation which doesn't have much substance until I hear Peter say. "Hey Vanessa! I am going for a jog for a few hours, why don't you say hi to Nat as she is new to the country and can use a friend."

 **You can kill her right** **now.  
**_I will wait till he leaves.  
_**Now.  
**_Not until she is inside._

Peter changes into his workout gear which is just sweats and runners. He waves her goodbye. I bolt to the kitchen and pick up a knife. Before she can even say a word to me I put the knife into her throat coating myself and the floor immediately in in hot blood. I look at the time. _Six pm._ I grab a spare few sheets from the linens drawer and roll her up till the blood doesn't soak through. After a change of clothes on my behalf I begin dragging Vanessa to back alley making sure to shove her between a power pole. Back home I clean up the mess left on the floor and from the drag marks. Then a very hot bath where I reconsider my whole life and think about Peter. _Am I willing to do this? Kill every girl who tries to date him? I am terrified if I get caught but the answer is going to be yes._ After the bath I put on my comfy clothes and wash the knife, sterilize through boiling and shove it back into the drawer.

It is back to watching some random movie when Peter walks back in all sweaty, looking over at me alone on the couch. "Hey Nat... where is Vanessa?"  
"She wanted to go home was tired of waiting for you to get back as she had homework to do." I make myself sound as bored as possible and he nods.  
"Yeah makes sense. I will have to apologize to her next time I get the chance." Peter walks off to the bathroom where I pray to myself hoping that there are no signs of blood in the tub.

_Are you really fine with this being your life?  
_ **Yeah I am.**


	2. F in the Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little back story a little bit of plot.

"Wait what?" I tune out the TV and listen in on Peter sitting at the kitchen table on the phone. "So she is actually... dead. Alright." He stands up after hanging up the phone immediately I fake being completely invested in the show as I feel the far end of the couch dip slightly near my feet. "Nat can I vent?"  
"Yeah of course." I turn off the TV, rolling so my back is against the arm of the couch. "What's up?"  
"Vanessa is dead."  
"What?!" I fake the shock in my voice.   
"I am stunned a bit. She was found in the trash behind our house."  
"The means... right after she left... she....." I trail off.  
Peter nods. "For distraction what was your high school like back home?"  
"I went to an all girls school run by the government, nothing fancy but did learn multiple languages and did ballet."  
"What were the girls like there?"  
A memory goes through my mind of me shaking and blood all over my hands. I shake away the memory. "They were quiet, anyway I am going to head to bed." I immediately stand up and remove myself from the situation, changing to comfy clothes then crawling into my bed against the wall trying to sleep away those thoughts.

* * *

I wake up at six in the morning from hazy dreams or nightmares, depending on your perspective. Sitting up I see Peter passed out in his bed curled up around a pillow. I sneak out past him stepping softly to make sure that he doesn't wake up. I change to my school uniform in a weird everlasting habit. I pull a large hoodie over the red skirt and white button up combo then leave to go to the shady downtown parts but not before grabbing my entire stash of money that I brought with me from Russia. At a food stand I order a coffee and observe a shady looking fellow in a bit of an alley area. After forty minutes of waiting someone approaches and clearly some drugs as well as money change hands.

 **Getting a gun?  
** _Yes.  
_ **Good.**

Hesitantly I approach the man after his other customer leaves. He speaks in a snotty tone. "How can I help you?  
"I am looking for a gun."  
"Aren't you a bit young?"  
"You aren't in a place to be asking these type of questions."  
"I have one on me with a few rounds."  
"How much?"  
"Five hundred dollars." I hand it over the amount without questioning anything in return I get the gun and leave.

When I am back home I stuff the gun with my under where I know Peter won't go looking. As soon as I close the drawer he walks out of the bedroom. "Hey up already?" I nod in response. "Ah well school is soon, I will walk you as that is the polite thing to do and lucky you for only having to sit in on classes."  
"I would rather be learning." He gives me a weird look which after we walk in silence to school, passing by the shady alley way but the shady man is gone. We enter the school doors where Peter makes a beeline for a group of people, I follow along nervously.

"Everyone this is Nat! Nat this is Lillith, Vincent and Feng!" He points at the people around the circle. My brain focuses on Lillith, a ginger goth looking girl who is seemingly flirting with Peter a bit. 

**Kill. Her. Here.  
** _No, we have to plan this time._

"Nat?" Lillith's voice calls me to reality.  
"Hey sorry still jetlagged I only flew in yesterday."  
"Oh it is no problem! I just wanted to know if you liked partying because there is this weird party happening tonight at a castle the next town over."  
"I actually love partying." I plaster on a smile. "Would be great to see a different part of the city!"  
"It is a girls only affair that is why I asked, plus end of the school year party. Sooooo I will be picking you up at nine pm." I chuckle a bit then the bell rings.

 _It is wonderful following Peter to classes and sitting with him.  
_ _I want to him to share his space, his air, his life with me forever. I wonder what his skin feels like._

The school day ends with the walk home, both of us happier then when the whole day started. I go over my plan internally again. _Isolate Lillith and shoot her, can't be hard right?_ _If she is isolated and I leave before the party ends then someone else can get blamed for it._

Soon enough the time rolls around and she is in even heavier makeup and skimpier clothes. "Nat you are looking awesome in the black mini dress." There is a gun strapped to my thigh. Your ending. "Lets go!" She grabs me by the hand and pulls me to the car.

**Break her neck for touching you.**

I get in while she climbs in the driver seat. It takes a while to reach the place but when we get there everything is quiet except for a soft thump of music. As soon as we get in Lillith throws back a shot, I follow suit trying to blend as best as possible. The party carries on through the night with it it becomes overwhelming and soon I leave to a balcony in the backyard that looks over a hedge maze. Lillith joins me. "What's up?"   
"I want to go through the maze."  
"You are drunk." I am not. "It is a great idea so lets go." You are an idiot. She runs down the steps and I run after her following until nothing can be heard except for the crickets and a fountain somewhere among the plants. I draw the gun when her back is turned to me. Without a single hesitation I shoot her in the head. The gun echoes through the place as soon as the sound is done reverberating through even me I run until the main highway. When I stop for air I strap the gun back to my thigh. Starting to walk backwards on the highway arm out with thumb up to hitch hike back home. 

Eventually I get back home four am, sun just starting to rise. First thing I do is remove gun and shove it back into the drawer, second is crawl into bed on top with my party clothes still on. When trying to fall asleep Peter softly chuckles and uses a blanket from his bed to cover me up. I feel him tuck me in as he leaves. I inhale deeply, the blanket smells like him.

_The scent is a brand new drug._


	3. Again and Again and Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer is officially here, to Nat's shock and dismay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I fucked up seasons.

The heats has set in much to my dismay and I don't understand how anyone can wear sweaters in this weather. It is barely possible for me to sit in shorts and a bra to edit videos at this point from the sheer grossness of sweat. The news cast that is softly playing in the background from the TV also says there is going to be a full on heatwave in the next week which may actually kill me. I take a moment and lean back rewatching the video about Peter and how I may or may not have a crush. _I hope he never finds this._ I mouse over how many subscribers I have in the chrome window. I stare in disbelief at the screen before me almost... a thousand. Okay so weird. I read the comments on the video the few that were there.

You are actually cute! 

What are you thinking of doing next???

Can you give us a beauty routine please? Also is your hair natural? thx~!

I smile and reply to their questions before uploading the most recently edited video. Then I just curl up and watch beauty videos, trying to take a look at the format and what exactly they do. Maybe next time I will gossip and share my limited makeup skills. There is a soft knock from Peter at the shared bedroom door, "Nat have you heard about Lillith?"  
In response a small nod. "It is all over the news." I sniffle a little bit. "I barely knew her but it felt like we could have been good friends."  
He walks over giving me a small hug I accept it just for the fact that he is touching me. I could do without him being extra warm though. "I know the feeling." Peter trails off a bit, mind clearly else where. "Hey how about we get some ice cream, pick some lemons from the tree in the alley and get out of the house?"  
"Well it has to be better outside as the lack of air conditioner is killing me." I paused. "Wait why are you complaining about the heat? Weren't you born in LA?"  
He softly laughs. "No born in northern Missouri, trust me this sucks for me too. Probably not as much as it does for you miss Siberia."  
"Congratulations you found what title I won while modeling." My tone is pure sarcasm I peel myself off of the chair painfully and shove on my sandals which were next to the bedroom door.  
"Are you going to put on a shirt? As you would be showing off your.... bra."  
"Your celebs dress in thongs and less on the daily in public. No one will care about a teenager in a bra." I speak with a pointed tone as I step out the door to go to the small park across the street where there are always vendors. Peter follows closely, not bothering to lock the door as neither of us _really_ care.   
From a slight jog and long legs he meets my stride. "Maybe you have a point. What type of ice cream do you prefer?"  
"Vanilla." My voice comes out blunt... _too blunt? I need to be likeable. Fuck what is wrong with me?!_ I laugh nervously. Peter gives me a weird look but orders the cone for me anyway. "Thank you."  
"It is no problem." He orders a chocolate cone and immediately hands me my vanilla. "So are your ice cream tastes always that boring?"  
"It is a classic!"  
Peter sticks his tongue out teasingly at me. "Oh yeah sure. I must ask..." That makes me panic completely. "Why are you so quiet?"  
I sigh a bit in relief but unsure of how to actually answer. "It is... complicated. Like with how school was back home you never really spoke up." I punctuate the statement with a shrug. "What made you leave Missouri?"  
"Well my mom died and my dad wasn't around." He pauses and thinks. "It just felt like there was nothing left for me there so I figured I would try and go for fame."  
"You have to have someone there though?"  
Peter nods. "My grandpa but he isn't supportive of me being here so..."  
"So he has cut off communication."   
"Yeah... exactly. What about you any family back home?" I shake my head. "What happened to them?"  
"They were killed in an 'accidental' house fire. But I know it is absolute bullshit."  
"Bullshit how?"  
"My parents were against the state and everything it stood for so they were killed." He gives a horrified look. "Before you say anything it is more common then not especially when you hold my last name."  
"Romanova?"  
"In the family name it is Romanov... Romanova for the girls. It is the last name of the last ruling family of Russia so if there is even any hint that you can be a part of them and oppose the state you are doomed."  
"How.... how do you view the state?"  
"At this point I don't know what to think." Peter nods again and goes quiet. So do I. In the silence we sit on a bench eating our ice cream in peace as the sun sets on another day. There is a random man walking through the alleyway near some lemon trees that I watch for a bit.

**Kill them.  
** _They have done nothing.  
_ **But it would let you practice.  
** _I can learn through YouTube videos.  
_ **Practical skills are much better then just watching.  
** _Not today.  
_ **You are a coward.**

I stand up almost collapsing from doing said action and walk to the house, Peter stays behind and talks to some woman who brought her kid to the park. That works for me. I grab the same knife used on Vanessa, I am probably going to keep it with the gun after it is cleaned again. I stalk the man through the back alley behind our house, he goes to the more isolated parts. The light from street lamps is almost non existent. Being light weight has a bonus I suppose, I am quiet. He pauses in the darkest part of the alley and I stab him brutally in the back of the neck. Lucky for me I avoid most of the blood this time. After this kill there is a guilt in the pit of my stomach but it soon goes away after the knife is cleaned and I am in the near boiling bath. 

**I knew it.  
** _I don't want to be a monster.  
_ **Too late.**

I said too much about myself today, but that is fine. If I want any part of him I have to let him in just a bit. A foot in the door. He doesn't need to know anything but that. The only question remaining is what me will he be getting to know. The only comfort after this line of thinking is Peter on the back porch having a smoke staring at the sky, unknowing of the man choking on his blood just a few houses down.  
"Can I have a smoke?" I sit next to him on the tiles that were warmed by the sun. He nods handing me the cigarette and lighting it for me while it hangs in my mouth. But one comment from my channel haunts me at this moment.

Who are you?


	4. Heather, Heather, Heather and.... Nat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you need to know: Nat is famous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am skipping ahead in time. Why you ask? Screw you is why. 
> 
> Seriously thank you for reading.

A sharp sounding ringtone from my phone slams me out of sleep. In a daze I feel around before hitting the solid mass under my pillow. The number is unknown and I pick it up. "Natalia speaking how can I help you?" Peter rolls over in his sleep with a snoring huff. "Hi this is David Smith. I am with the Starlight Accolades." Immediately I bolt up, all attention focused into this call. "I want to talk about a nomination you have, if you have the time."   
"Yes yes of course!"   
"So given how many subscribers you have managed to gain in the short course of about three months I want to extend an invite to attend the award ceremony and see if you win an award. It would be for breakout creator. Are you interested?"   
"Absolutely when will the ceremony be?" I start vibrating a little from excitement.   
"This Sunday at Studio PBP, also you are allowed to bring a plus one. Have a good day miss Romanova." The phone goes dead and I stare out of the window where the sun is just rising over the houses.

I stand and walk over to Peter, softly shaking him awake. He looks at me confused but before he can speak I start. "Peter skip school with me to go clothes shopping."  
"Wh-"  
"I got nominated for an award for the Starlight Accolades and I want you to be my plus one."  
" _Wait_ are you serious?!" He sits up. "You got nominated for an Accolade?" I nod enthusiastically. "Oh fuck yeah we are going clothes shopping!" Peter stands up and bolts for the dresser in the hall to get changed into everyday wear.  
"It will cost a lot for the high end clothing though."  
"Nat this is a big step in your career, cost really won't matter in the long run here."

* * *

** Sunday. **

Here we are the big day of. I am fidgeting nervously with a part of the skirt of my dress. Peter reaches over, takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze while they are handing out various awards for other categories. Eventually we get to the category I am in 'Breakout Creator' with someone by the name of Bailey. Both of our attentions tune into the speaker at the end of what feels like the longest moment of my entire life my name is said as clear as day.

"Natalia Romanova please if you would be so kind to join us on the stage." I stand up making sure to not trip over myself in the heels I stupidly got. "Are there any words you would like to say to anyone watching out there?"  
"Just a big thank you to every single one of my fans for helping be right here on this stage accepting this reward. None of this would be possible without any of you. The biggest thanks ever goes to my best friend Peter." He smiles at me from the crowd. "Who gave me the courage to be up here and pursue this path." I hold the award over my head with one hand with the biggest look of victory, paparazzi taking many photos from their designated spots in the crowd. Those who are not busy with photos are clapping including Peter who looks so proud.

* * *

** Another Few Months Down the Line **

I look over the pool of my new mansion towards the city center and over down to where Peter and I used to live. The pool wall towards the city leads down to a straight cliff. I take a photo of the view and post it to my Instagram with just a smiley face as a description. _It is insane how far I have come._ _Please never let this end._ Peter steps up next to me. "Thanks for letting me have a room here."  
"I wasn't going to leave you there." **~~You are never going to leave him.~~ **"Besides you are my best friend and what kind of friend would I be?"  
"No clue but look at this view! You can see the whole city!!" He grins with a laugh. "I always wondered what this would be like."  
"Now you don't have to wonder."  
"Truly I don't know how to repay you!"  
"You don't need to." **~~Keep only your eyes on me. Never look at anyone else again.~~ **"It is honestly a pleasure." He leaves my side to go continue exploring the house as a photographer rounds the side of the house. I give a slight nod before striking a pose for whatever publication this will be for. The photo shoot lasts a few hours where I immediately go inside after it is wrapped and curl up on the couch. Instead of a shitty fuzzy TV it is now high def with a movie screen size. Nothing quite like being rich it seems.

Peter leads a girl who I have yet to me in the living room. "And this is Nat!"  
She holds out a hand. "Hi! I am Alex!"  
I don't take it. "Moyer right? From his bio class?"   
She nods but Peter speaks. "Can she stay here the night?"  
"Yeah. Sure." I respond curtly and they run off. My brain wanders.

**Kill her.  
** _Soon.  
_ **Will it be in front of him?  
** _He can never know about what we do. Who we are. How are we going to....  
_ **You will see.**

I shake away my head and grab a bag of plain chips from a cupboard in the kitchen then I go sit on the over hang outside. Alex appears out of nowhere in a bathing suit. "I thought you were going to bed after coming to the living room. It is late."  
"Peter was tired but I was not so I wanted to come down and swim. He tells me that this is your place."  
"Yeah my pride and joy."  
Alex jumps in the pool with a big splash. "Be proud you worked hard."   
I stand to place the chips on an outdoor table. "Thank you." I plop onto the edge of the pool next to where she is leaning against the edge. I remove my shoes and set them off to the side where they won't get wet. Willingly I submerge my feet into the temperate water with the smallest smile.   
"Why don't you join me?"  
"In my clothes?"  
"Well... underwear."  
"Sure, why not." I slip out of my clothes then jump in. Swimming a bit around Alex.

**Like a shark around prey.**

Soon she visibly relaxes when I play at not being stand offish. It takes an hour for me to go with my violent instincts. I push off of the wall of the pool and glide over to Alex in the water with a cold dead look. Before a word can be exchanged with this approach I hold her underwater where she tries her best to struggle and fight back. I bring my mind to my classes back home. _It takes a minute for an adult to drown._ I hold her under for two. When my hands are removed she floats to the surface of the water. I take her pulse and there is nothing. Alex is easy to push across the pool with the weightlessness factor however I did struggle with getting her on the minuscule edge that exists between the pool and cliff. With enough effort I manage it then with a final big grunt I push her off of the ledge to fall to whatever is at the bottom of the cliff. I take a breather and pull myself out of the pool, picking up my clothing as I go and tracking water through the house. Once in my personal bathroom I dry off then change to comfy clothes, opting to edit videos over sleeping. After all I no longer to sleep to remove myself from these situations. Death is now just another meaningless blip that is life as it just carries on as with everything else. So....

Why stop?


	5. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simply a date night so... have fun?

Peter steps up to me while I am busy mixing a drink at the bar. "Come here often?" His voice shakes a bit, clearly nervously.   
"What?" I raise an eyebrow. "What is this? _I live here_."   
"Uhhhhh." He coughs a bit. "Trying to flirt... has anyone ever flirted with you?"   
"No." I shake my head. "Why are you trying to _flirt_?"  
"You are cute and you are really only the person I am close to."  
"Why don't you just ask me out?" The teasing nature of my voice comes out as I finish pouring the drink into a glass.  
"You saying that... you just did." He gives a bit of a small smile. "So date night in so you aren't bugged by paparazzi?"  
"What are you thinking?"  
"Well." He takes the drink from my hand, setting it aside then takes my hands. "Lets say some slow music so we can dance together and we can use an automatic bubble blower for atmosphere."  
"That sounds perfect." I rummage through the junk drawer for the cheap bubble blower and fill it. I tape the handle down so it constantly blows bubbles once I flip the on switch. I walk into the living room from the open kitchen carrying my one piece of supplies. Peter dims the lights a bit and turns on the stereo. I turn on the bubble blower setting it up on the coffee table so the constant outpouring goes over our dancing space.  
"May I have this dance Miss Romanova?" He tosses off his jacket to just a tshirt and holds out a hand.  
In my response I take it. "Of course sir Quill." Peter pulls me in close a warm arm wrapping around my waist with that we move in time slowly to the music spinning in small circles. I inhale a bit and he smells like sandalwood and vanilla with a small hint of leather. Every now and again one of us gets a glance of the twinkling city through the floor to ceiling windows the dimness of the room makes everything stand out that much room. For once since meeting him nothing in my head is intrusive and everything makes sense. Despite what I have done he could just have maybe been the one for me. My soulmate.

Peter softly starts humming along to the music which pulls me out of my train of thought. I speak quietly. "Where did you learn this music?"  
"My mom taught me a lot of old songs."  
"What was her name?"  
"Meredith."   
"She sounds wonderful."  
"Yeah I miss her a lot." He squeezes me in a gentle hug resting his chin on the top of my head. "If she knew you I think she would approve of you."  
"What makes you say that?"  
"Responsible." ~~**Not true.**~~ "Held together." **~~Not true.~~** "And just so sweet." **~~A lie.~~**  
"You really think that about me?"   
Peter takes a step back fingers lightly trailing down my arms. "Of course I do... if I didn't this wouldn't be happening." I look into his icy blue eyes and before I can think anything at all or debate against myself I cup his face in my hands, stand on tip toes and kiss him. He doesn't respond immediately and I take a small step back. "Please... kiss me again." He puts his hands over mine so I kiss him again ever so softly. His skin is incredibly soft and better then I have ever dreamed of.

This whole series events of course led from one thing to the other until the early hours of the morning. It switches every now and again between talking and screwing. In the end he easily passes out but I can't sleep so instead I just softly play with his hair and watch the sunrise. It is Tuesday and I already know that neither of us are going to school today but that is fine. I lay on him waiting for a few hours by listening to him breathe and watching the time tick by. When it hits almost seven am I climb out of bed and put on a robe. The kitchen this morning feels warmer then it ever has. My drink still sits on the counter, forgotten. On impulse I chug the drink as to not put alcohol to waste from here I begin making a breakfast of eggs and toast while absentmindedly humming to a random piece of music from home. I make coffee and pour a cup. Once the meal is situated I go sit at a table on the pool deck to enjoy the sun. 

Long after the food is done, but coffee is still left in my cup Peter joins me outside with a plate of food and a cup of coffee. "Thank you for making breakfast."  
"It is the least I can do." I pause for a moment. "So is this going to be a regular dating thing or is it going to be a one time event and then forget?"  
I can hear him choke a bit clearly not used to the bluntness of the question. "Well.... I would like it to be a regular dating thing, if that is okay with you."  
A smirk crawls across my face. "I would be upset if it wasn't like that."  
Peter laughs a bit and holds up his mug. "So a cheers?"  
I clink my mug against his. "Cheers. Guessing you are opting out of school today as well?"  
"It is bold of you to assume that I am even awake enough to know what math is right now." I laugh. "Hey don't laugh at me!" He pouts a bit with a small frown.  
"I absolutely am not laughing at you!"  
"You are!"  
"I am laughing at your sentence not at the fact that you suck at math." He breaks into a bit a of a grin, clearly faking his upset pout. "Any fun plans today, Peter?"  
"After this probably work on late homework. How about you?"  
"Shop for new outfits for a lookbook video, maybe host an impromptu meet and greet."

We spend the rest of the morning idly chatting about random things. Maybe this is happiness and I know what that is now but he can't know what I have done to get to this point. 


	6. I am late for a very important date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can u get pregante?

I place my cheek on the cold toilet seat after puking everything from my stomach again. My eyes close when I try to shift my thoughts away from how the bile tastes in my mouth but soon enough like that I fall asleep. God knows how long later Peter wakes me up by pulling me into his lap while he sits cross legged against the wall. "Is it the flu?" He whispers.  
"I don't know I am just... late."  
"What do y-." Peter pauses and thinks. "So you might be pregnant?"  
"Yeah." I nod trying not to cry, thinking he will hate me for this.  
He pulls me in closer, petting my hair. "Whatever you want to do I will support you one hundred percent."  
"I want to keep it if I am pregnant."  
"What about school?"  
"We have the money for a live in butler. We can convert what is the walk in closet in one of the spare bedrooms into a room for the butler. From there make it a part of the nursery."   
Peter nods. "That is smart." He nestles is face into my hair. "Your hair smells good."  
"Shocking that I don't smell of puke." I gesture a bit to the toilet before reaching out and flushing in an attempt to remove the smell from my nostrils.  
He looks me up and down. "Feels that bad huh?"  
"Like I am hungover without the fun parts."   
He chuckles managing to stand up while holding me. "I will run to the drug store and get you a test." Peter puts me into bed making sure to bundle and tuck me in. "For now you just rest okay?" I give a nod. "Good." He kisses my forehead and runs off.

I sit up and listen staying still until the front door closes. Immediately I lean over the edge of the bed grabbing my journal that has been shoved between the mattress and box spring since we moved in months ago. I gently open and skim through to the most recent pages. All newspaper clippings of the murders I have committed, other pages being leaked crime scene photos. All organized with dates and notes of what actually happened. I briefly look at Lillith in the pages before flipping back to the beginning of the journal. On impulse I opt not to read the entry and stuff it back from where it came. _I can't risk anything._ Perfect timing as I hear the door open downstairs and loud thumps as Peter runs up the stairs and into our shared bedroom.   
"So here it is." He hands over the box of tests. "I also uh bought myself a pregnancy book to read so I know what to expect."  
"I feel like I could use that more then you?"  
"It will help me not panic... you can stay calm through anything."  
I give a bit of a shrug. "I mean I suppose." I tear open the box on the way to the bathroom where I take the test I open the door after done, putting the cap on and setting it on the counter as well as setting the timer on my phone. "We have to wait for it to show."  
"How long will that take?"  
"Six minutes." I take a seat on the edge of the bath tub to wait anxiously.  
"Hey hey hey don't look like that." Peter sits next to me and wraps an arm around my waist. "Everything will be fine, no matter what."  
"I just worry."  
"It will be fine, I promise." We sit in silence both just staring at the test on the counter until my phone goes off, echoing against the walls of the bathroom. I stand taking it and closing my eyes, taking a deep breath in and then a deep breath out. I take a look. Two lines, I say nothing but just continue staring frozen. "So... what are the results?"  
"I am uh... pregnant. You are going to be a dad, Peter." He stands quickly, walking over and wrapping his arms around me. "From here I will be needing to book doctors appointments and just get things done to make sure."  
"Before this becomes a stress, how about names?"  
"Lets say if it is a boy we can go with an American name, if a girl Russian. We can deal with choosing names with our respective nationalities."   
He grins. "That sounds perfect. Also I will book the appointments for you as you need to relax during this." Peter kisses my cheek walking off while already making calls. I toss the test in the trash. _I was a virgin when I got here and now I am pregnant. With his child._ I blink a bit, realizing how weird my life has become.

My phone rings out of no where dragging me out of thought and without looking I answer. "Hello Natalia's phone."  
A voice from my past responds. "Nat, it's Clint." Immediately I hang up. The phone rings again, and again, and again. After five calls I fill the bathroom sink with water and submerge the phone however the phone is nearly waterproof so it rings underwater. I start rummaging through various drawers eventually finding a metal brush. I remove the phone from the water placing it face up on the counter. It rings again and I take the brush handle breaking the screen with it in a stabbing motion. I proceed to submerge the phone in the water again immediately frying it. I drain the water then drop the phone in the trash.  
"I booked your app-." He pauses for a second. "What happened to your phone?!"  
"I... broke it. On purpose."  
"Why?"  
"My phone number got leaked."  
"You could have changed your number."  
"Yeah I didn't think of that. Sorry my brain is completely elsewhere right now." I laugh a bit making it normal on the surface but knowing it is nervousness internally.


	7. A Lookback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick little glance into how Nat ended up in LA

I curl up in a hospital bed only slightly listening to the doctor while Peter holds my hand. "Baby is healthy... you are a high risk pregnancy... due to your small frame...... you are going to have to be here under surveillance and out of school." I nod with the little bits I got. "We want you to be healthy as possible during this."  
Peter squeezes my hand as I respond. "What about schoolwork?"  
"I am sure Mr. Quill will be happy to get it for you."   
Peter nods in agreement. "Of course I will." He kisses my forehead. "I know how important your grades are to you," he pauses looking at the clock a bit. "Speaking of which I better go."  
The doctor gives a polite nod before scribbling on a piece of paper and handing over a note to him. "This is an absence note explaining, as well as my number in case they have any questions." Peter leaves and the doctor turns to me. "Are you fine here?" I nod. "Great so you know the buttons to call the nurse as well as to change channels on the TV. You can get up and move around but it is not recommended." I nod again. "Brilliant. I will check up on you at 10pm, sound good?"  
"Yeah it does, thank you." I give her a small smile as she leaves the room before scrambling through the small bag Peter packed for me for my cell phone. I pick the number of our housekeeper and dial.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi Elizabeth, it is Natalia."  
"Of course it is, how can I help you?"  
"There is a book I need you to grab it is under the left side of the bed shoved between the mattress and box spring, and bring it to me. I know that it is not a part of your job description but I will pay you an extra 300 dollars for the day."  
She gives a bit of a laugh. "I wasn't even going to ask for anything extra given your circumstances. I will see you in forty minutes."

The line goes dead and so I begin watching mindless TV, looking out of the window every now and again and of course the clock. Time ticks by so slowly until Elizabeth pops her head in. "Natalia?"  
I jump a little bit. "Ah yes! Hi!"   
"Sorry for scaring you." She hands over the journal. "What is in it?"  
"Just a diary that I want to keep private for now. Might publish it someday."  
She nods her head. "Of course is there anything else I can do?"  
"This is it, thank you so much."  
"Of course." She gives a polite nod and walks out. As soon as she does instead of the promised 300 I transfer 3000 dollars into her account, just as a surprise and gift. After I thumb through the pages until I reach a few months before I landed in LA. The day my defection started and start reading to relive the moments.

I take a side street in Prague, eventually landing in a cafe and sitting at a table in front of a man my age. Blonde and a goofy grin, but notorious and clever as he used to be a part of the Rooms network, and still is when neeeded. He holds out a hand and I take it with a suspicious look. "What do you want Barton?"  
He gives a bit of a smile. "So you do remember my name. Nice seeing you Romanova, even though intelligence says your code name is Slavic Shadow?"  
"Good intelligence. Who is your mole?"  
"Well as they are dead hopefully you in the future."  
"Absolutely not! Are you fucking insane?"  
"No but I know that in the world you are currently one of the best agents in the world, at the young age of seventeen as well. Why did you agree to this meeting if you are going to shoot down my proposal?" Clint raises an eyebrow, crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.  
"I want to defect and never be a spy or assassin again."  
He sits upright and then leans in. "You have got to be joking?! You are highly trained and you want to argue for _defection_."  
"Trust me when I say I have the information you want. I know who the Winter Soldier is, I know who his targets are, who Russia's targets are."  
He looks me up and down. "Bullshit you know who he is. He is a myth."  
"You are wrong when you say that I am the best agent. Who do you think trained me?"  
"Understand the risk that I will be taking. When is your next mission so we can get you out?"  
"Three years. I will have to break out when Zima is gone on a mission in three months. I suppose I will see you there as you love being a double agent for us and SHIELD, of course before you defected entirely in secret. If you don't I guess I will have to let someone know." I give him a menacing grin, canine teeth showing just a bit.  
He gives a defeated nod. "Where will you be going after handing over your intelligence? We do need to make arrangements."  
"I want to be in Los Angeles."  
"That can be done. Thank you for your time."  
I give the curtest of nods and leave. Letting him finish his coffee in peace, to continue on in my day of getting intelligence from the Russian embassy.

I sigh a bit flipping through the pages to where I left.

Clint is in my room at the compound, ever playing the double agent. He hands me a gun and a knife which I promptly strap to my thighs under my skirt. "Are you ready? Do you remember the way out?" I nod. "Great, and do you have proof of what you told me in Prague?"  
I bring out a red leather bound book from under my bed, as well as a brown one. I hand over the red one to Clint as the other goes into my small bag. "That book has every current Rooms agent being trained in this facility. Deceased ones are noted, also has our handlers and the Winter Soldier as I like to know him as..."  
"...Zima." He finishes the sentence and flicks through to an alive/dead list. "Jesus christ only seven of you are left alive."  
I nod. "Understand that is why we have only one shot at this now shove that in your bag." He does as I say. "Lets go." I lead the way through the maze of walls and confusing turns until an alarm starts blaring signifying someone knows what is happening. "Shit someone knows! RUN!" I grab the knife from my thigh and blot through the halls.  
"How the HELL did you memorize this place Romanova?!"  
"You get tortured if you don't!"  
"What?!"   
We make it to the main stretch of the doors, only two guards standing by diligently and guns drawn. Machine guns they mean business. I run towards them going for a duck and roll landing at their ankles. Before they can act and quick thinking I cut the achillies tendon of one guard, sending his gun clattering out of his reach. The other guard points his gun at me on instinct I kick up sending it out of his hand drawing out my own gun and shooting him twice. Once in the neck the second time in the temple. I stand and start running, Clint by my side looking a bit stunned. There is an echo of guard's footsteps behind us when we push open the door, then we continue running into the very empty field. "Barton where is the retrieval point?!"   
"Fifteen miles down the road!" I grimace a bit at him as we continue running at top speed, filled to the brim with adrenaline. Eventually a helicopter lands and the two of us are ushered in with the head of SHIELD, Agent Fury sitting in the seats across from ours.   
"Agent Barton and Romanova. Incredible that you survived. How many guards had to die for that one?" He speaks in what sounds like a perpetually annoyed and serious tone.  
I answer before Clint can. "One."  
"Barton is she telling the truth?!" He meekly nods. "Holy shit and here I thought you would have killed more even for sport. So before we land and you get on a plane to LA, who is the Winter Soldier."  
"Bucky Barnes."  
"This has to be a fucking joke. Bucky is dead!"  
"He went missing, there was no body recovery, he is not dead." I look at Clint. "Give him the book." He does so, while I watch Fury flip through to the page outlining who he is.  
"So you aren't joking. Who is the main target?"  
"Brilliant inventor Tony Stark."  
"Because of military applications?"  
"Correct. That book also has every current rooms agent who is alive or dead. Including their skills, who they are, aliases, photos, as well as skills and talents."  
"My main question now is what is the Red Rooms?"  
"That is the informal name, it is known as State School 9."  
"That is rumoured to not exist unlike State School 7, the sparrows." Fury muses a bit.  
"We are meant to be a rumour that is the whole point of us. The best agent is an agent that doesn't exist."  
"How long have you been learning to be a spy?"  
"All of us started when we were eight. Nine years."  
"How do they teach you?"  
"Brainwashing and torture. As well as hands on experience."  
"Thank you for your answers Romanova. I just needed to know what I am dealing with here. Are you sure you want to defect from spy work entirely? Your skills could be very useful."  
"Yeah I am sure."

I close the book and bring it to me, holding it against my chest, then closing my eyes. Every now and again I am not so sure of my choices but then I think of Peter and then it is all worth it.

**_After all he is everything._  
Everything.  
Everything.  
Everything.**


	8. Bloody Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even more of a delve into Nat.

It is now my second month into my hospital stay at one am. All I can hear is the clock ticking away on the wall and I can't sleep, I sit up from laying down and grab my journal. Flipping through to a day that reveals the fate of Anya at the age of fourteen.

There was just a clattering of plates and idle conversation among those who should be considered my sisters and Zima at the head of the table watching us eat our meal for the day. _I hate all of the girls. I truly hate them all._ The young black haired girl with icy skin next to me pokes my right arm. Anastasia or rather Anya. She leans in a bit to me like she is holding treasured information. It just takes a few words in hushed Russian. "You know Zima will never be your handler, right?" With hesitation I look to him on my left, he gives a menacing grin. Clearly he had heard what Anya had said. Zima gives a nod.

I hesitate but then Anya laughs. Without consideration for our rules I stand, everyone looks at me like I am a pariah. I lean down and whisper in her ear. "Those are your last words, you know?" She goes to speak but before I can my fingers are holding onto her hair from the back close to her scalp and I begin smashing her face into her plate again and again and again. I can hear the ceramic shattering with her bones. Zima doesn't move. The girls stare in shock. I pause, still holding her by hair listening to guards move but they don't act. I glance at Anya's face, bruises already forming in deep red, blood coming from her nose and anywhere that glass got stuck. 

Zima leans forward, placing hands folded on the table. "Well little Natalia, are you going to finish what you started?"

I grab a big shard of the ceramic plate and tilt Anya's head so she is looking upward. Still she doesn't speak or try, she just gasps. I jam the ceramic into her throat with a bit of effort, I push it along into an artery. Letting go of her hair she slumps backwards over the chair. Using my one clean hand I retrieve the plate piece, hands now covered in blood. I look down at my hands and shake a bit. Bloody.  
Clothes. Also bloody from proximity.

Zima stands bringing me out of my panic, placing a strong and firm hand on my shoulder. I can hear how proud he is. "You did good, it was also incredible watching your first kill. I will see you in the chambers." His hand lingers on my shoulder a little too long before he walks off.

Guards who watched this take place grab each of my arms and guide me to a cold room, barely lit and place me in a wooden chair. No comfort. Also cold. They make sure to tie arms and legs down, knowing I can be a weapon. What feels like hours go by before the man watching the Red Rooms strolls in as if he was going to have tea. His eyes glare into my soul. "You have caused a great loss to your country." I don't reply. "From the beginning the state has nourished you, took care of you, you owe **everything** to the the state, and this is what you do?"  
I look at him dead in the eyes. "I serve my country, I serve Zima, I serve you. Her? I don't serve her." The end of my sentence was punctuated by a very hard backhand. My face starts to tingle.  
"She was important."  
"She was nothing."  
He punches me in the face, breaking my nose with ease. My blood flows joining Anya's on my uniform. "Zima is amused but you know what has to be done."

I watch him walk out as soon as he leaves Zima walks in, no emotion. As cold as the room. I squirm in my seat a bit, just wanting to get away from the shame building up. In one of his hands he holds a hunting knife. With the free hand he punches me in the stomach to where I puke into my lap, bringing up everything I ate for the day. Zima positions the knife over various areas from thigh to neck. He opts for my side slowly driving it in, avoiding major organs. The skill of a man who has done this many times before. It is pulled out quickly and I let out a small sob of pain from the serrated edge. He grabs my chin with his bloody hand and assesses, proceeding to punch me in the jaw with a snap.   
Zima crouches in front of me a bit with now a smirk. "See that wasn't so bad? Actions have consequences, milashka." I wince with the nickname. "However you are going to have to stay here for a bit."  
"P....please no."  
"It is just for now. Then you can go to the infirmary."

The knife is placed into my lap with my puke. Like a threat, like a haunting. I squeeze tears out of my eyes.  
No... neither of those.  
A gift.  
An apology.  
A sacrifice.


	9. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyo so someone makes a return.

Peter sits across from me on the hospital bed homework spread across both our halves. "How good are you at math?"   
"I am shit at math, you know this."  
"But you are smart... like look at your grades even with being here!"   
"Well that is because I memorize everything else and then cheat on math tests."  
"Wait hold up, you cheat on tests?"  
I pause and look over confused. "Yeah but only math."   
"Huh..." he sets his homework aside. "So I was thinking about making the work out room into a ballet studio for you."  
"What really?" I sit up a bit shocked. "You love the workout room!"  
"I see you here and I know how much you miss doing ballet as you can barely manage to leave bed, with that it is almost your birthday."  
"You are incredible Peter." I slide across the bed and kiss his cheek, then look over his shoulder. "It is almost eight in the morning."  
He brings me into his arms, kissing my forehead. "Of course." Peter stands, gathering the papers off of the bed. "I will see you after school, okay?" I nod. "Good." 

Peter walks out of the door and I relax back into my bed, curling up a bit and put a hand on my slowly growing stomach. I spend my time replying to YouTube comments as well as on Instagram. The next hours are spent alternating between those and watching TV. In the middle of mindlessly listening to TV, I speak before I glance up from my phone. "Hey Peter wh-" I look up. It is Barton.   
"Hey Romanova. Long time no see."  
"What the fuck are _you_ doing here?"   
"I am asking the questions here. So do you think becoming famous is smart? Especially as you have people hunting you from Russia?!" Clint frowns a bit.   
"I am living my life."  
"You have people hunting you Romanova. There is also blood on your hands, you think I can't put together the pieces of your murders? I know you."  
"What are you really doing here?"  
"You have to do something for SHIELD." He gives a bit of a grin. "You are still an asset."  
"I am pregnant I am not an asset."   
"After you give birth."   
"What do you want from me?"  
"Well I have an offer of immortality, from aging at least, to you, and continue advising us on what to do with the Rooms. "  
"I gave you the book, I gave you my brain. What more could you possibly want from me?"  
"Thing is people in many famous circles are a part of HYDRA. What I want you to be is an informant for us." I glare at him. "Does any part of you want to do good? Do something good in this world?"   
"I donate to charities. I don't need this, I am starting a family."   
"HYDRA is looking to take over the world and we both know they had a hand in the Rooms." Clint looks me over once again. "Your torture on multiple occasions."   
"Fine fine. I will."  
"Oh and Romanova?"  
"Yes?"  
"Don't get your phone number leaked again, it is how I called in the first place."  
I chuckle a bit. "Oh I did that on purpose. It is a publicity stunt and gives me a great way to interact with fans."  
"Well that is fucking dumb." Clint stands and looks me over. "Gotta say fame suits you."  
"You have aged ten years since I have seen you." I give a sickly sweet fake smile. In a clear response he rolls his eyes stepping out of the door. As I watch him my smile turns to a genuine one, with me being genuinely happy to see him leave.  



	10. A child.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have... no clue :')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey another time skip this time after the baby is born as hospital nat is hard to write :')

I curl up on a couch in my sitting room over looking my pool, singing softly in Russian lullabies to the bundle that is our son Stewart in my arms. Peter walks up with a soft smile taking a seat next to me. He speaks quietly. "Feels good to be home?"   
"Yeah it was so hard being at the hospital. I missed it here."  
"Do you want a break? I can put Stewart to bed and you can go out, relax a bit."   
I give a nod gently handing him to Peter with a kiss to the cheek. "I don't deserve you"  
  
**Of course not look at you.  
**_He is still here so he sees something.  
_**Do more to secure your place.  
**

"It is you that I don't deserve." **He knows nothing.**

Peter walks away to the stairs to go to the bedrooms, with the dorky grin on his face. I glance to the cushion next to where Peter was on the couch, his phone. I grab it, sliding to unlock as I do. Digging through the notifications there are many texts all from his number being leaked by a crazed fan. Then again we both have them. I start reading the texts.

_I love you!!!!_

_Omg I can't believe this is your number! you are HOT!_

_I want to fuck you <3_

**You do know you are not the only one that can do what you are doing, do better.**

The impulse consumes me. I begin taking note of the numbers of the texts then putting the phone exactly where I left it. I run upstairs carrying my own phone with the notepad in it, save and lock it. Changing into a bit of a longer black skirt to right above the knees with one of my older knives strapped to my thigh underneath. For a sweater I choose a baggy mustard turtleneck, tucking it in for a simple look. I run back downstairs while slipping on flats then out the door soon waiting at the bus stop when it arrives I take it to a Starbucks downtown. I hide in the corner after ordering a pure black coffee. Slowly the progress begins of tracking these numbers. First one is Morgyn, other two I will leave for after this first... _assassination? No that isn't right. Murder I think._ I question myself a bit and shrug it off a bit. Lucky for me their apartment is a ten minute walk from here. I start off, carrying my coffee still and weave among the crowd getting a look here and there until I duck into an empty back alley. Quickly reaching the apartment building, no front door security. There I dispose of the coffee cup and I smile to myself. No elevator in the building so climbing to the fourth floor it is.

After what felt like forever I stand in front of their door. I press an ear to it, hearing a feminine voice. I back up a little and knock, hearing the footsteps approach the door and eventually unlocking it. I give a smile. "Hi, it is nice to meet you!"  
"Who the fuck are y-" she pauses. "Natalia Romanova. You know I hate you as a celebrity right?"  
"I don't read forums."  
"Might as well come in for tea." I step in after her, closing the door behind me. Then I lock it. "Hey what is this?"  
"Sorry I thought I was being followed that is why I came here." She nods a bit in clear understanding. "That is why you don't go to downtown LA alone, at night of all times." I roll my eyes and lean against the door frame to the kitchen, watching her. In the moment she is turned around with attention focused on the kettle I remove the knife from my leg but she sees me with a brief glance over. "Oh you really? Are fucking kidding me?" Morgyn tries to hit me in the head with the kettle, I barely dodge it only to be punched in the side. She feels around for a knife in a random drawer.

"I am really sorry about this." I lie. I give her a solid kick in the right side with the top of my foot slamming her into the open drawer and it on her hand. With her off balance I run up, kneeing her in the stomach and jamming the knife into her throat. When I pull out the ever important tool I back up before I can get covered in her blood. Morgyn quickly falls to the ground half propped up against the counter, her hand still stuck in drawer. Working carefully around the blood to make sure it doesn't get on me I use her kitchen sink to wash off the knife as well briefly submerging it in bleach. After a thorough drying back onto my thigh it goes. I go to leave and look behind me, seeing bloody footsteps. "Fuck. These were one of my nice pairs too."


	11. Oh Hm.

I hide in the alley next to Morgyn's, working on tracking the numbers to the other two people who texted Peter. There is a soft click and what feels like a gun to my head, I don't look up from my phone. "I will pay you whatever money you want to leave me alone."  
"We had a deal Romanova." The ever so familiar Clint speaks with a slight laugh in his voice.  
I sigh, tucking my phone into my skirt pocket. "So there was someone following me, here I thought I was telling a lie." I step away from the wall, gun still keeping aim.  
"Are you going to cooperate?"  
There is a brief moment where I think. "No I don't think I will." Out of the corner of my eye I see him tense up with the hand on the opposite of where he is pointing the gun I reach up slamming his outstretched hand into the brick wall. Clint goes to punch me and I effortlessly dodge, watching his fist hit the wall with a satisfying crunch. On impulse he drops the gun and grabs both sides of my head, fingers in my hair and brings my face into his knee breaking my nose. Again. I stumble back a bit disorientated and he grabs my throat as well as the gun pointing it at me once again.   
"Call Peter and tell him you are going to a spa to relax overnight. This is happening whether you like it or not." Clint's voice is cold and I know I am about to die if I still fight.  
I slide the phone out of the pocket and dial Peter, he picks up with a cheery tone. "Hey Nat! I saw you like twenty minutes ago, what's up?"  
"I found a luxury spa that does over night treatments. It is like twelve hours and I think I might want to try but it does require me to not have my phone on me." My voice gives nothing away. "Would you be alright there with Stewart that long?"  
"Yeah I would be fine! If I run into any issues I will call a nanny. Have fun and let me know how it is okay?"  
"Of course I will, have fun." I hang up the phone, glaring a bit at Clint.  
He gives me a look. "Why did you say twelve hours? This doesn't take that long."  
"I was in the middle of business." I watch over his shoulder, watching a black SUV pull up behind him. "You interrupted me."  
"Like murdering innocent people is business." Clint lets go of my throat however keeps the gun on me even while climbing into the SUV. Fury is in the front seat. In the ride out into the hills and a bit beyond into the countryside we all stay quiet in the ride there, the only reminder of the situation being the gun in my side.

After what feels like an eternity we stop at a vineyard, building made of stone. Fury breaks the silence first as we step out, Clint dragging me by the arm gun still to my side. "Romanova nice seeing you again."  
"The choice was death or death. Might kill myself after this, who knows." Clint glares a bit. "After all your minion here passively aggressively threatened me."  
"Oh wow so you don't even know what aggression is."  
"I know what aggressive is. You are not it." I smile at Clint a bit, he frowns in response.  
Fury snaps. "Enough you two! Barton, let her go. Romanova, follow me." Clint lets go of me and holsters his gun. As we follow Fury in I can see him pouting a bit. "You may or may not know how painful this process is."  
"I know nothing about the serum, about what Howard Stark died for."  
"We both know that is a fucking lie." Clint mutters. It takes every fiber of my being to not punch him in his smug little piss off of a face.   
Fury continues speaking. "This serum is a strain of the one given to Steve Rogers. It won't bulk you up, however there are many things that come with it. Romanova you will no longer age, get sick, your body will be beyond that of an Olympic Athlete's, a higher healing factor, being able to push pull or lift six hundred pounds, being able to think in split seconds and of course improved running speeds. Of course it will hurt to get there. Any questions?" We stop and none of us speak for a moment. Fury opens the door that we are next to leading to a sterile room but with plush seating. "Excellent, Romanova if you would have a seat. Inner elbow up of your left arm."   
I take a seat and sink in, following Fury's instructions. "Does feel like a chair at a spa."  
"It won't feel that way for long, I promise you." Clint speaks a bit.  
"How do you kn-." I pause for a second. " _You have the serum_."   
He nods a bit as he straps my wrists the the chair with plush straps. "These are so you don't rip out the IV." I nod.

The two of them leave me in the room I squirm uncomfortably, the moment bringing back memories. Quickly a sweet looking nurse with chestnut hair comes walking in, a dark blue bag on being wheeled in on an IV pole, frost slowly melting from the surface of it. She gently swabs the inside of my arm. "The initial insert of this is the least painful part I promise." She places a needle over my vein. "Look at me please." I look into her eyes as the needle slides in. I wince and inhale without thinking.   
"Is there morphine with this?"  
"Sadly it conflicts with the serum so what we have to start before it gets to you is some saline. We don't want air bubbles in your system after all." She watches the dark blue liquid go into the tube after twisting a release knob. The nurse pets my hair a bit before turning and leaving. Door shutting tightly behind her. I watch it flow and once it hits my blood stream my eyes go wide.  
"No... no no non o." I start to panic. The serum feels like a million shards of glass entering my blood stream, being stabbed over a million times every second. In under a minute it is in every part of my body. I am screaming and crying, begging for an end begging for a release from this. Ten minutes in judging by a clock, not even a quarter of the way in. I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror to my right. Mascara streamed down my face, covered in sweat and hair sticking to my face. In time I just black out into a dark void with nothing. Not even a nightmare for comfort. 

Something outside of the void shoves me. My eyes open, then wince in the bright lights. "Glad to see you made it out alive Romanova, we thought that it over loaded you." I take a moment to focus and it is Clint. "You look like trash."  
"Oh wow I look like trash? I look better then you do on any given day." I smirk a bit.   
"Incredibly still a bitch even when sore." He laughs, unstrapping me. "Now stop being gross and go take a shower."


	12. Business as Usual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Posting schedule? Never heard of her

I look into the mirror of the small bathroom, soaked hair dripping cold water onto my shoulders.

... _puking into a sink, blood on my hands...  
"It was just a deer Natalia." Zima's haunting voice echos._

I blink away the snippet and look back to the mirror. I don't recognize myself. As quickly as humanly possible I dry off and get dressed. I stumble out of the bathroom right into Clint. I don't say anything and walk past him. He follows me in stride to outside, sun now rising over some of the hills I couldn't see with the darkness. "Do you feel sore?" I nod. Clint nods with an understanding. "It takes a bit to not feel like that. Will you ever tell Peter?"  
"Never."  
"You should eventually."  
"Stop acting like you are the beacon of what to do in this situation, Barton."  
"You know you can use my first name." We approach the SUV.  
"Fine. Clint." I almost spit his own name at him like it is poison.  
"Great, get in. I am driving you back to the city."   
I climb into the front passenger seat. "Fury not driving back?"  
"No he has stuff to do here." Clint gets into the front seat, leaving immediately. Everything goes eerily quiet for a bit while I stare into space outside of the window. Out of no where he breaks the silence snapping me back to reality. "What did the Rooms do to you?"  
"You know the answer."  
"I really don't."  
"You can see what it made me."  
"But how?"  
"I told you."  
"Natalia... you gave a vague reasoning of what they did to the girls there. You gave us no context, no actions, nothing. What happened?"  
I sigh a bit thinking for a moment. "They scooped out what was a young girl, happy as I could in the circumstances, carefree, and looking forward to life." I turn to look at him while speaking. "They completely unmade me and many others into cold brutal murderers. Into spies and into assassins to use for whatever fucking chess game they were playing with war." His knuckles go a bit white with him gripping the steering wheel tighter. "The abused us mentally, physically and sexually to the point where we were broken enough so we can be remade into what they wanted. Clint I am not a human being I am a dangerous weapon. A weapon you just opted to give even more power to through no will of her own. That is always how it has been. No free will."

Clint goes to speak with a slightly horrified look then says nothing. We spend the rest of the drive into LA in dead silence both of us in our own worlds. He parks the SUV in the downtown area and I get out. No words exchanged. No goodbye. I walk off staring at my phone, and text Peter.  
  


**N: Hey it will be a bit.  
P: Everything okay?  
N: Yeah just have some business and errands to do.  
P: Alright.  
P: I love you and be safe.**

I give a weak smile at my phone before continuing on to retrieve the address of the next target. Taylor. Clint also dropped me off in her area. _Lucky me_. I approach a fancier condo after walking for thirty minutes. Door this time is locked, with lock to pick but no tools with that it is a card swipe entry only. _Fury said that this gives me extra strength... let's test_. I pull the door lightly, giving a test. Door barely budges. I close my eyes and focus a bit, this time pulling the door with all of my strength. I hear breaking metal and I open my eyes seeing metal bent out of shape at the frame and small bits of it on the floor. I step in, not closing the door behind me. It tries to automatically close behind me but just leaves with a small sound of metal hitting metal. I climb up the fifth floor of the building. Reaching her apartment, I test the door handle shockingly the door is unlocked. I step in, closing and locking the door behind me. She comes out from around the corner looking stunned, but no fear. "Okay wow so you are in my apartment but you might have the wrong one."  
"No this is the right one." I step up to her, we are the same height. Now she looks scared, realizing what this all means. Taylor tries to take a step back but I grab her by the throat, crushing it in my hand as soon as I make skin contact. The crunch of bones and cartilage echoes in the dead silent apartment.

God what a satisfying sound.


	13. Wait What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat stumbles home, a small conversation. Oh and a time skip.

I stumble home at about noon after finishing off the third texter. I tore her limb to limb in a not pretty scene of no mercy, the only reason that I am not dripping with blood is the fact I used her shower. Funny enough she lived down the road from me and thought it was appropriate to text him. I open the door and sink into the couch that is in front of the TV. Peter takes a seat next to me. "So who were you with?"  
"If you are thinking I fucked someone, I didn't."  
"Not what I asked."  
"He is an old friend that helped me move to America but he is a fucking bastard."   
Peter nods a bit, taking me into his lap. "You know I am not the jealous type..."  
"What are you saying?"  
"Well if you wanted to date him you can."  
"Peter... I don't eve-."  
"Don't lie to me." _Too late._

* * *

Two years later.

I haven't seen Clint since he dropped me off, almost like he didn't exist and I am fine with that. _He doesn't matter at all._ I angrily chop vegetables for dinner while clearly lying to myself internally, Stewart is upstairs being watched over by the butler. Peter is asleep on the couch, the door opens, thinking that it is the house keeper I peek around the corner and see that it is a guy in a mask with a gun. He fires a shot at me seconds after I duck back into cover, sliding onto the floor holding the knife. Peter wakes up and I watch him to my right. He looks scared shocked and confused. I put a finger to my lips, crawling to my left towards the dining room. The intruder opens and closes the door to the laundry room, clearly searching the premises for other people. I hear him step closer to where I crawled away from. I stand quietly and softly I walk around the wall to see him make eye contact with Peter. I rush and tackle him sending the gun flying from his hand. The clattering can barely be heard as he turns around to knee me in the ribs, hard with a bit of a crack. I jam the blade through his forearm then yank making him scream in pain. What is unexpected to me is a gun shot, me getting covered in blood then the man collapsing. Peter is holding the gun looking a bit stunned. I drop the knife and rush over. "Are you okay?"  
"Y-yeah. I am fine."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah he was going to hurt you!"  
"I am fine."   
He pulls me into his arms where I gasp a bit in pain. "That tells me you are not fine, who is he?"  
I wriggle out of his grasp to start rummaging through the intruder's pockets, eventually coming across a wallet. Peter watches over my shoulder as I read over Russian ID cards and passport. I stumble across a hand written note in Russian. 

Dear Natalia Romanova,

If you are reading this then you survived and more men will be sent to your location. If you are smart and to spare your family come quietly back to the Rooms. You are our greatest achievement and failure. Oh and I miss you my little spider.

Love, Zima

I run to the kitchen sink and puke. "We have to move."  
"What was in the note Nat?"  
"Threats."  
"From who?"  
"I don't know." I puke again. "They have threatened to kill the whole of our family though."  
Peter nods a bit looking as pale as a ghost. Our butler walks downstairs, looking horrified at the mess downstairs. "What happened?"  
"Intruder, we need help as this body cannot be found here."  
"I am on it Miss."  
Peter and I share a look, understanding that this is what needs to be done.


End file.
